IN THE END, JESUS WINS!

When Valentines Day forever changed my life.

It was just like any other Wednesday. I am a Youth Pastor and we had our weekly High School service all planned and ready to go. Except with all the “extra” heart focused silly games and cheesy love jokes added since it was, well- Valentines Day! At the end of the night I was getting ready to leave to go join some of my friends at one of our leaders houses for some fire pit time and good convo, a regular Wed night late occurrence. But I remembered I had to finish a report so I went back up to my office. It took me longer than expected, so after a long day and night I started to head home. My friends texted me “hey are you still coming over for “fp” time??”.
I didn’t respond (umm I was driving and almost half way home). That is when the first nudge happened. Something in my spirit told me to go. I turned my car around and headed to my friends house. Another friend was there that had been having a rough day and I figured the Lord was prompting me to go be with her...even tho it was already so late. I had NO idea the Holy Spirit was leading me to a moment that would once again, reshape my faith.

I arrived and went to the back yard, hugged my girlfriends and sat down. We were having a beautiful and deep conversation about life, love and the Lord- as we so often tend to do over the crackling of the “fp”. It’s sacred time really. Continually connecting our hearts and friendships deeper together in true community. I love our times together, and I’m so glad I went!

Then. In the midst of our fellowship we heard it. The rev of a motorcycle followed by a resounding crash. Then. Silence. It shook me to the core. We all looked up at one another and knew something terrible had just happened. It was all in a split second. And simultaneously- the Lord spoke to my heart. “Go”. It was one word, two letters. Yet it carried the weight of a thousand. It was a call. A mandate. A prompting from the Holy Spirit to be His hands and feet. And I knew it.

One of my friends broke the silence, “that was a motorcycle crash”. The others agreed and carried looks of angst, sadness, disbelief, even fear on their faces. Then. I spoke and said- “I have to go there”. I jumped up and headed inside and without hesitation my three friends followed behind. My friend grabbed her keys and said I’ll drive my van. I ran to the passenger side and we pulled away. Just two left turns and we were on a main street in our suburban town. As we approached we saw the bike laid down about 40 feet away from a large marquee sign of a middle school. There was a car parked on that side of the street in front of the school and next to the sign we saw two young men standing next to what looked like a third young man lying on the ground. My friend driving stopped in the middle of the road and rolled down her window. “Has 911 been called”. “Yes- they are on their way, thank you” a young man answered. She responded “do you need anything”. But before they could respond I spoke up. “Pull around I have to go there”. She u-turned around and parked behind the little sports car. Before the car even stopped I opened the door and jumped out. 

“I’m a pastor, do you mind if I pray for your friend”? I think the response was yes, or sure, or okay...but it didn’t matter I was already by his side. Then. I saw him. A young man laying on his back with his helmet still on, feet and hands outstretched. I knelt down beside him on the ground. “Do you know his name”?
“Jeff. He is our friend”.

The following moments were a seamless tapestry of an open Heaven. One of those times when Eternity collides with the here and now. Then. The Lord spoke to me- lay hands on his heart. I cast protocol to the wind and gently placed my left hand on his heart and my right hand on top of his left shoulder. I began to pray out loud. It wasn’t as much a pleading or frantic prayer as it was a gentle, confident and peaceful prayer. I was in fact surprised by the sound of my own voice. I did not know this young man or his story. But I saw the cross around his neck and simply knew he knew the Lord. As I began to pray- I could hear the Lord saying, “not only does he know me, I know him and he is one of my favorites. Remind him of truth”.

“Jesus, thank you for your son Jeff. Thank you for the life blood that is running through his veins. Thank you for the very breath in his lungs at this moment. Lord would you reach down with your mighty healing hand and hold Jeff close. Give him peace, comfort and joy like only you can. He is yours”. My prayers then turned to declarations. “Jeff- Jesus loves you. He is proud of you. He knows you. He delights in you”. I continued to pray for a few moments between healing and the Lords heart over him.
When I first melt down Jeff was groaning and moving his legs and arms. He was in pain. Anguish. Fear. Then. Like a wave, peace came. His body stilled and his frantic breathing steadied- into deep, long breaths. There was struggle- but it was calm. He turned his head to look at me and for a brief second our eyes met. I guided his head back down with my hand on his helmet and said “it’s okay Jeff, just rest- help is on the way. Jesus is here. You are loved”. As I continued to pray I heard the sounds of sirens, then a flurry of first responders came on the scene. A police officer asked the two friends to step back and he knelt down on the other side of Jeff. He didn’t ask me to leave. He began to ask Jeff questions and I remained steadfast in audible prayer, quietly.
“Jeff, can you talk to me? Can you tell me your name buddy? Jeff I need you to talk to me buddy.” No audible response.
Then. The fire truck was there. The fire captain was the first to come close- I could sense he was about to ask me to step back. Then. He looked at me and said, “Hi Pastor, I recognize you from church”. And he allowed me to remain. So I stayed close with my hand on Jeff’s heart. He began asking the friends and myself questions. The ambulance and paramedics arrived and it was then that I stood up and backed away two feet. Everyone else was about 10 feet away. But they let me stay.

Jeff began groaning when I stood up.
Then. The paramedic knelt down and as I stood over him close, he began cutting his clothes off on the top. Then. They removed his helmet. It really did seem as tho when the helmet was removed that is the moment I remember Jeffrey became fully coherent- he hadn’t responded in words to me or the first responders up until that point. And he still never quite engaged with their questions- it was more crying out to roll over.

It was the first moment I got to see what a good looking young man Jeffrey was.
But seriously...I remember having the thought that he was quite handsome and in the middle of such pain- he looked striking, and beautiful. I believe that was the glory of heaven upon him in the moment.

Then. I heard his voice. “I. Need. To. Roll. Over”. He was trying to move. He was gasping for air. His mouth had been filling with blood. The paramedic helped him roll to his side so he could spit and cough out. Then he said “Jeff I need you to stay still”. It was then and only then in this moment as the men picked him up and put him on the gurney that Jeff began to cry out in his pain. His eyes were open and he was alert. Everything looked in tact. But the struggle for life was evident.

Then. I watched as they were placing Jeff in the ambulance. I wanted to go with him. To place my hand back on his heart, but I knew I couldn’t. The Lord spoke again. “I am with him”. So I let him go. I trusted Gods goodness. I surrendered the outcome I wanted to see. I turned to the two young men and said- “do either of you have Jeff’s parents number?” The did not. But they did have his roommates number. It was then one of the friends told me they went to Calvary Bible College together. He called the roommate and let him know what had happened. I could hear him talking on the phone- “Jeff crashed his bike, but he’s okay and they are taking him to the hospital”.

After this was spoken and the ambulance drove away- the police and fire captain began talking about certain codes- saying they would need the stats and timing of something or other. One said- he was coherent on the scene. The others response was crudely- “yes but if the kid dies in transit we will need to know that code”. I didn’t exactly know what they were talking about, but that is the moment I knew. I knew he wasn’t going to make it. I immediately began to weep silently by myself. I begged the Lord in my spirit to allow him to live. It was a guttural prayer. Where deep cries out to deep. Where the Holy Spirit was uttering unknown words to the Father on my behalf.

Then. The sounds of the siren became distant and we were all standing there. The headlight on the motorcycle still beaming it’s light casted across the grass. The flashing silent lights of the police cars and fire engines. The reports being written and then one by one the interviews of our witness accounts. I walked up to the other young man who was not on the phone (whom I later found out had just met Jeff that night playing volleyball). I asked for his number so I could follow up with him the next day. He told me he didn’t give his number out. Which I found strange in the moment, given the context. I asked if he would at least be willing to call Centerpoint Church the next day and leave a message for me, Pastor Heather with any updates. He reluctantly said he would. But I discerned he had no intent to follow up. At that moment the police officer came back over to me to say thank you and he let me know Jeff was being taken to Inland Valley Hospital.

Then. There was nothing more we could do. Me and my three friends walked over to the van and we left. We drove in silence back to my friends home. One went home. Myself and two others went back to the fire pit to make sure the fire was out. We talked for a few more minutes and began to process what had just happened. Recounting all the ways the Lord has intervened throughout the night. “I wasn’t even going to come”. “Heather- I’m glad you sensed we should go”. “Oh that sweet young man”. “I wish I knew where the family was and could talk with them”. Then. The Lord again said- go. It was just before 1 am at this time. I knew He was telling me to go to the hospital. I told my friend I sensed the Lord telling me to- I think I’m supposed to be there. So I went.

When I arrived I checked in as a Pastor and asked the security guard if I could go back to see Jeff. He said- “yes, since you are a Pastor you can go even tho you are not related. Hold on and I’ll find out where they are putting him”. He picked up the phone- spoke a few words and then said- I’ll be right back. He went inside and was gone several minutes. When he came back out he looked at me and said, “I’m sorry but at this time we are unable to let you go back- you can wait around the corner with some others that are here for the patient”. My spirit grieved. I knew already. This was not good.

I walked around the corner to find the two young men from the scene, as well as a few other young men from Calvary BC and one of the students mothers. She just happened to be in town from Canada with her husband who was teaching an intensive at the school that week (yet another- non coincidence God thing). I sat down near the boys and they looked shocked to see me. One of the young man talked to me about Jeff and began showing me funny videos of him. It was surreal. This kid was SO full of life and obvious favor. He was a leader. He was confident. He was loved. It was as if I knew so much about him. We all sat there for a while together waiting.

Then. The friend from the accident took a phone call. I was sitting next to him one chair distance away. As everyone else continues talking...I heard him say, “I am so, so sorry”. Then. He hung up the phone.

“Jeff died” he mumbled quietly under his breath. “He didn’t make it. He’s gone”.
There was a collective shift in the atmosphere and everyone began to cry. Only the sounds of tears at first. Then we gathered together and Michelle (the friends mom) led us all in a prayer. After, we spoke together in private and I said I would wait there till the dean from the school arrived. A bit later Levi and a couple other dorm resident directors came. They were at a loss for what to do. I spoke with them and gave them some steps to take and some encouragement. We all stayed for over an hour and just talked, cried, prayed, and sat in silent moments together. We checked with the hospital staff who by law could not confirm or deny anything. We told them we had heard from Jeff’s mother and their only response was “you can gather here in the waiting room as long as you need to grieve”. So they said without saying- he was gone.

We all left the hospital about 3:30am. I drove home in silence with the Lord and had to pull over at one point to cry. It was an ugly cry. The kind that is uncontrollable and physically hurts.

As I recalled the events of the last few hours on repeat I was flooded with every range of emotions. I was sad, angry, hopeful, mad, frustrated, peaceful, shocked, confused, confident, overwhelmed and simply- broken. I realized that I was the last voice on earth that ever prayed for Jeff. The last interaction of human intimacy. It was such an incredible honor. I felt so undeserving since I didn’t even know the young man. But I knew it was what the Lord had in mind. I knew He crafted for me to be there. It was supposed to be me. God could have used anyone, and yet He chose me.

As the next day unfolded I saw even closer the incredible hand of God weaving this connection together. Turns out, Jeff’s Aunt and Uncle are dear friends of mine who I used to be in ministry with. Turns out, a good friend of the family is also a friend of mine from church. Turns out, the Lord had a good and perfect plan for the last moments of Jeff’s earthly life.

The next day the Lord orchestrated for me to meet Jeff’s parents and brother at the site of the accident. There was an immediate connection. It felt like family. Because it was. The body of Christ is a beautifully inner woven tapestry. We sat together and recounted what had happened the night before. They told me the cause was a torn aorta...essentially a hole in his heart. Exactly the place the Lord told me to lay my hands on Jeff. Amazing. Then. Jeff’s mom Julie began to pray- FOR ME! In the midst of the greatest pain she had ever faced she reached out in love to ME. She prayed a blessing over my life. I was blown away. Now I knew why Jeffrey was such a solid young man. His entire family is rooted in love and Gods unwavering goodness. They know the truth- and the truth has set then free. Yes the wept. Yes they mourned. But they also laughed. They encountered peace. They chose love. Unbelievably beautiful.

I attended a service the following day at Calvary Bible College. They honored Jeff and his legacy and devoted the entire chapel to giving space for his close friends to share about his life. Story after story confirmed what I already knew to be true of this beautiful stranger- that he was a man after God’s own heart. That he loved big and prayed bigger. That he was a world changer. A breaker for the Kingdom of God. He was so in love with Jesus. And on a day that our culture celebrates love in a cheesy, over-commercialized way....Jeffrey’s true valentine- the lover of his soul was wooing him home to eternity. Where he is now wearing a crown of glory and sitting in his rightful place as an heir to the throne, adopted through Christ. I didn’t even know Jeff before that night. But he changed my life.

I trust the sound and voice of God more than ever. I count it great joy to have the honor of knowing his family now. I am humbled by the love that shines through Jeff and his legacy. Through simple steps of unyielding obedience I got to encounter the body of Christ at work, unveiled. I am forever grateful for the life, and death of Jeffrey O’brien! And every Valentines Day I will remember that true love is obedience. They will know we are Jesus disciples by the way we love one another. Thank you Lord for allowing me to love Jeff on your behalf. A gift far better than flowers and a box of chocolates.

~Heather